Yielding to God, waiting on Him is a lesson in letting God set the agenda,
rather than coming to Him and leading the show. It’s like social dance, if
you would permit. Say that I, as someone who just learned a few dance
steps in my class danced with a guy who was really good, and forced him to
do the moves I wanted to do. Ugly, ugly dance!! Yet sometimes, in life
(often, actually) I come to God that way, trying to lead our times
together, pushing on Him the things I expect Him to teach me rather than
letting Him pierce my heart and show me the steps. He wants to teach me
moves I've never seen. He wants to train me to follow Him better and to
dance more beautifully with Him. (Now, can I put in a plug for Steven Curtis Chapman’s "Lord of
the Dance"?)
When I come to Him to pray, or to spend devotional time, how much of that
time am I trying to "force" Him to speak to me on issues rather than just
letting there be an attitude of patience for the Spirit to lead? Maybe He
has great things to teach me about my proud heart and His humility, but
instead, I just pray and pray asking Him to tell me what I should do after
I graduate.
Sometimes the question becomes not, "Why does God not speak?" but "If He
spoke, would I obey?" I was hit with that last Saturday. I had been
singing, "I want to know You, I want to hear Your voice, I want to know
You more." when His answer was, I've let you know so much already, when
will you obey? Not until you learn these lessons need I tell you more."
True, why learn about Algebra when you haven't mastered adding? (Sorry
about the math analogy.)
And you know what? He has His own timescale with things. If I'm not
learning lessons, new and magical every time I open the Word, it’s okay.
Sometimes He wants to temper me with patience. A lot of times, my eagerness
for Him to speak is actually based on an eagerness for me to be able to
brag to others about how loudly God speaks to me and how close He is to
me. Isn't that horrible?!?