"Just Not Sexy Enough"

Have you ever felt like you don't measure up --
like maybe you have to do too much in order to fit in?
Written by, Mary Ann Nguyen

Recently, I was visiting my relatives, and throughout the afternoon and evening that I was there, I was told some things by my aunts. I was criticized as being "too young to be so conservative." I was told that I needed to be a little "sexier" and "less boring" ...so I can "catch a man." (They really said that!) Would you be offended?

Let me tell you, I was soooo NOT offended. (I found it quite amusing, actually.) My reponse was "Nah, I don't need to catch a man yet. I'm only 20." I said it with the light-hearted confidence which is supported by the very foundation of my life: the love of Jesus Christ. I left their house after this conversation. I felt wonderfully at peace because it really didn't matter to me what they thought or what they felt I ought to be in order to fit in to this world. (This is a great contrast to how I once was. In fact, before, I would've been offended and wallowed in the hurt for days.)

However, the truth these days is that I don't want to fit in. I don't NEED to fit in. I used to try so hard to wear the right types of clothes, act the right way, like the right kind of music, obssess about the normal things (i.e. guys and relationships), thinking that would make me accepted. However, I never could fit in. In fact, I don't think anyone ever really reaches a point of security where they are able to meet the high standards of this world and "fit in." But there is a security found somewhere else.

And I found it!! Unlike the rest of this world, the truth is that the God of the universe loves me and accepts me for who I am, not anything that I have to make myself out to be. In fact, His life, His breath, His power, His death are all poured on me. POURED and lavished ... that is, abundant overflow - "drenching", not just "drip, drip, drip". It is always a wonder to me to think of how incredible a miracle it is that Love (i.e. Jesus Christ) should die for me just so that I may be with Him! I am nothing special. In fact, to this world, I am an unseemly, unbeautiful and sub-ordinary individual. Nothing I did could've ever merited acclaim - only punishment, censure and blame. Certainly not unconditional and unfailing love from the God of the universe! It was only by His choice. He summoned me. He elected me. He chased the darkness and blindness away by pursuing me with His Light. It was all His initiating. What part did I play? The answer is obvious. And so is the extent of His love - for me.. and for YOU! :)

All of those superficial things that used to dictate my life matter very little to me now. That night, after leaving my aunt's house on my drive home, I found that talking to God was like "going Home" all in itself. His love is so secure. No need to please, to push, to prod, to bribe or beg in order to have acceptance. I can just ask (and "ask" I did - 3 years ago!), and I know with full Biblical backup and experience and a life-testimony of miracles that I got what I asked for - and much more than I was able to imagine! :)

This world looks at me and thinks I am not sexy enough, so not qualified for the prize of their "treasures." But in this disqualification and non-assimilation, I am actually in pursuit of a treasure far greater than this world could ever dare to dream. It is soo wondrous, so unimaginable, so unending and impossibly secure (it seems) that this world and all its glitter and gold has NO way of offering. And if it could, it would demand an impossible price. And here it is, I have it for free. For FREE!!! And here it is, YOU could have it for free. Don't reject that which you do not know because it is that which you precisely need.

Click here to find out how to encounter this wonderful Christ.
The Certain way to Security

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Created: December 18, 1999
A Lil' Ladybug Production
Copyright Mary Ann Nguyen